Mind Mush

After such a restless night, my mind literally feels like mush.  I haven't been able to keep my thoughts from the King family who today will lay their Husband, Father, Son, Brother and friend to rest.  All sorts of thoughts and feeling come to mind.....sorrow, separation, grief, pain, anger, happiness, sympathy, helplessness, mournful.  A scripture came to mind last night as I read from Seven Cherubs blog and posts on Facebook and the thoughtful gesture Naomi has started in raising funds to help ease the financial burden. 

In Mosiah 18:9 we read:

"Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea and comfort those that stand in need of comfort......"

The magnitude of those that are willing to do just that is overwhelming, not surprising but overwhelming.  Why am I not surprised? Because there are so many good people out there still in this lone and dreary world, willing to help those who they do not even know yet wish to mourn with and comfort others.  Just turn on the news at any given time and there is reason for many to believe that there is no good left, no good people as we have witnessed just in this circumstance.  Perhaps if there were news broadcasts that would show only good news, good things that people do and accomplish and maybe just maybe the world be a bit more cheerful, people would feel better about life in general....they say sleep equals sleep (that's what family centre told me about making my firstborn sleep and it's ripple effect) so it would be the same good equals good. 

I cannot fathom the feelings that the King family are going through today and will do each day that follows, I just know that we have remembered you in our prayers, have thought of you non stop and will continue to do those things. I pray that they will have the continued support following this day and often people are flooded with family, friends and support and left alone in the following weeks and months which is when the support and love is needed most.  I very much doubt it though, seeing and reading those that will continue on with that.

It's now 610am, Ephraim (6yo, eldest) woke at 430am so how he will cope by end of the day is any ones guess....this kid has always been a nightmare for sleep! Before I leave here is a short list of the things I am grateful for:

- life

- clean water

- the ability to read and write

- the ability to rear and raise children

- a husband who puts up with me and my demanding ways

- my mother

- to have full function of all my senses

.......so much more to be grateful for but these are the first things that came to mind this early hour. Thinking of you King Family, mourning with you....God bless you all.

Still mad

So I have spent over an hour looking for my old Mama Madness posts that I deleted 3 years ago without thinking and voila they are DELETED! Hmmmm would have been interesting to see what crazy things I wrote back then.  When I first started to blog I had not long had my 3rd child Micah, blessed spirit he is.  The horrific start to his life and the lung disease (Bronchiectasis) he now has, each birthday we spend with him we cherish, each day actually.  The need to continue blogging has been a long awaited one for my sanity and maybe for the sanity of those who may read...I noticed I lost all my followers when I deleted the previous posts.  I talk to myself half the time now so it won't make too much of a difference right???

So life for now.....as you can see in the intro about me there are now 4 children.  We moved to Australia September 20 2009 and I gave birth to Manasseh August 10 2010 much to my surprise (being pregnant not giving birth because after 4 there are no surprises!) Still suffering from PND (Postnatal depression) has made life very challenging at times especially after the birth of my 4th.  I won't go into details right now because with each post my mentalness will unfold and you will get an insight..perhaps feel normal yourself. 

I am the wife of a wonderful man and mother to 3 sons and 1 princess, I stay at home and nurture these babies, keeping house, knowing I was called of God to do so...I don't have much time to myself, much money or even a beautiful body, my name is Arianna Winiana and I am a Mormon : )